Mookie Betts is at the World Series, not as a player — his Los Angeles Dodgers tied the San Francisco Giants in 2023 playoff wins, dontcha know — but as a reporter? Or something? Like, people were calling him a reporter, and he was asking questions of the other players, but if you’re an active player you’re not really a reporter, because a relationship between peers is fundamentally different than one between a journalist and subject. He was there to provide “behind the scenes access and insights,” which isn’t really any kind of … I’m getting off topic.
Anyway, in addition to whatever else he was doing, Betts also gave anodyne answers to questions on a variety of topics from the media. Is five days off too much? You have to be ready to play! What did he think of his postseason performance? He has to do better! Does he watch the postseason after his team has been eliminated? Yep, sure does!
Oh, and he thinks someone should sign Trevor Bauer.
Bauer, you’ll recall, sucks shit as a person. In recent years, he’s been in near-constant litigation regarding multiple alleged sexual assaults that he perpetrated, and by “alleged” I mean exactly the amount of uncertainty that leads to me never getting sued and not one iota more.
I wrote about Bauer when the Dodgers signed him, before the sexual assault allegations, and I stand by all of that except for the part where I didn’t talk about all of the sexual assault allegations. He's a dick. The Diamondbacks gave up on him because he was a dick. He cost Cleveland a postseason start because he was playing with his drone. He harassed people on Twitter. And then there were all the sexual assault accusations.
Anyway, Mookie Betts says that guy is A-OK!
After calling the idea of signing Bauer “something to think about,” Betts expanded on his thoughts:
“My experience with Bauer is not anything remotely close to what everyone else’s experience is. I love him. I think he’s an awesome guy. The personal things? I have no control. I have no say. Obviously, nothing ever came from it.
“He’s an awesome pitcher. He’s a great guy, somebody who wants to take the mound every fifth day. But, at the end of the day, I don’t make the decision. That’s a decision that’s not as simple as baseball.”
Well, okay, that’s not, like, a full-throated endorsement. But it is a half-throated one, which is half a throat more than Bauer deserves. Because what he’s accused of — extremely violent sexual behavior without consent, according to multiple women — is abuse.
It is not surprising that Mookie Betts did not have an experience with Bauer that was remotely close to what Bauer is being accused of, because, to the best of my knowledge, they did not have sex. And Mookie Betts is not small enough for Bauer to rough up anyway, so that entire pattern of behavior would be out. In fact, Mookie, that’s a terrible comparison, and your idea that Bauer is “an awesome guy” is deeply, deeply flawed.
But there is a plus side to this story! Just like when Clayton Kershaw embraced shitheadery earlier this year, we now have an excuse to personally dislike Mookie Betts. This is a beautiful gift, a wondrous thing to exist in the world. Giants fans should taste the sweet nectar of righteousness when we discuss how the Dodgers are all monsters, and how just being part of that organization saps your soul, and how we’ll never be fooled into liking another one of them ever again for the rest of our days.
It is fun to have Sports Hate in your heart, because it is not real hate. Real hate is an awful and ugly version of tribalism; Sports Hate is a delightful version of tribalism. It is an outlet for the ugly parts of ourselves that do not belong in the modern worls. It is an ability to see a group of men chosen essentially at random as The Other and to treat them accordingly without really meaning it too much.
And now we can have the thinnest possible justification for it, which is all we need. Sure, Mookie Betts seems like a good guy most of the time, but he’s said he personally likes Trevor Bauer, so he should lose every baseball game he plays until the end of time. That’s not real logic. That’s Sports Hate logic, which is in many ways far more interesting.
Mookie Betts didn’t have to help us out like this. He could have simply declined to answer the Bauer question, or given some mealy-mouthed response that would have satisfied no one, but instead he defended the guy. He invited the hornet’s nest to come to him, and boy did they ever. The best part is, he did it for us. Everyone who hates the Dodgers can come together and remember this moment, and we will until the next Dodger also turns evil. Mookie Betts was a hero, despite the laundry. Now he’s a villain, and only partially because of said laundry.
Also, he sucks now on a personal level. God, that’s so satisfying to say.
"Awesome Guy - great player - I love him."
Betts is a blithering eejit. Not a deep thinker. Just a jock.