Some notes on the Rockies being an enormous pile of garbage that should find the nearest dumpster to crawl into and die
Trying to be unbiased here
In the top of the 7th inning on Sunday, Lucas Gilbreath, an amoral reprobate masquerading as a pitcher, faced off against Brandon Belt, a newly minted dinger monster who has spent the months of August and September being physically unable to stop hitting home runs. Belt, kind soul that he is, tried to bunt against Gilbreath, allowing him to avoid the indignity of giving up a home run in an important situation. Gilbreath, minion of darkness that he is, threw inside and hit Belt on the thumb, fracturing it and likely ending his regular season, and quite possibly keeping him out for the postseason too.
And then the Giants won anyway, Lucas. You asshole.
Now, there is some hope the injury isn’t catastrophic. According to Susan Slusser with the Chronicle:
Fractures typically take three to six weeks to heal, but there are instances of some athletes playing through small hand fractures; Jose Guillen played the end of the season and through the postseason with a broken hamate bone with Oakland in 2006, for example. If the fracture isn’t displaced, and depending on the location, there is a chance Belt might be able to try to play with it.
Hope you enjoyed a little bonus Jose Guillen content! Bet you weren’t expecting that in your inbox this morning.
But, if we’re being honest, playing through it isn’t the most likely outcome here. The most likely oucome is that his regular season is over and if he comes back at all, it would be a miraculous World Series return.
If I may coin a phrase here: This fucking sucks.
For years, Belt has inspired adulation in the hearts of the right-minded, and loathing and distrust among those who scorn his willingness to take a walk, even though that came with the risk of striking out looking. But this hot streak, and his being an integral part of the best Giants team since the franchise moved to San Francisco, have sent a clear message: The Belt Wars are over, the right side won, and nobody wants to hear any revisionist crap about how it was really about slumpy shoulders’ rights.
Instead, he got hurt just as he had a shot to become the Giants’ first 30-homer hitter since Barry Bonds. It’s not right. It’s not fair. It’s a perfectly Brandon Belt thing to do, in that he did everything right, this was in no way his fault, and he’s still getting punished for it.
It’s important to note that Belt personally is taking a hit, more than the team. The Giants are built to accommodate injury, with good hitter backing up good hitter backing up good hitter. At some point you’d think the well would run dry, but it turns out it’s good hitters all the way down. They will likely be somewhat worse without him — the guy’s hit 18 homers since the start of August, which is helpful to a baseball team — but they will still run out a strong lineup that gives opposing pitchers fits every night.
Belt has already been injured this season, of course, missing a month and a half with right knee inflammation. The team didn’t skip a beat without him, because this team has apparently decided that beats are very important to them and they refuse to skip them. Every hitter on the Opening Day roster has either hit the IL or spent time in Sacramento (Hang in there, Mauricio!), and still they have the best record in baseball. The Giants can absolutely survive this, even if it means the team gets a bit worse. They’ve spent all season surviving this, so why stop now?
But it still fucking sucks (there’s my phrase again)! Coming into the playoffs, you want every team — especially but not exclusively the one you root for — fully healthy, because that way, winning means more. The Warriors got dinged for beating a banged up Cavs team in the 2015 NBA Finals, and while that wasn’t fair — you can only beat the team in front of you, not the one they might have been — it’s definitely true that the series would have been better if LeBron had had his full supporting cast. He didn’t have them though, just like the Giants are now down one Brandon from their lineup and will have to make do.
Mostly though, you just have to feel for Brandon Belt. He’s finally having the season of his life for the best team he’ll probably ever play on, and just as the calendar is about to turn to October, he gets taken out by a freak accident and has to become a cheerleader. He shouldn’t have to be a cheerleader; he’s the captain, after all, and the captain is supposed to be sitting in his comfy chair, inspiring the guys going out there and doing the work, and…okay, maybe this role does fit him a little bit. But it’s still bad.
And the reason he has to be relegated to this is the Colorado Rockies. The Giants swept the last two series at Coors Field, and this was anathema to them, so they had to take their revenge. The Colorado Rockies are low, spiteful creatures, vengeful spirits only able to hurt others and never win any gains for themselves. They have unleashed Dinger unto the world, and Troy Tulowitzki and Nolan Arenado to boot. They have never been disproven to have been Jack The Ripper. They injured Tim Lincecum in 2015, ending his Giants career. They are responsible for Neifi Perez., who kept the Giants out of the playoffs in 1998 and also, through his ineptitude for 75% of the season, in 2004. They couldn’t beat the Braves just one stupid time in 1993. They think they made up the term “Rocktober.”
Their crimes, in other words, are legion.
The Colorado Rockies deserve nothing but scorn and none of your pity. Lucas Gilbreath, miserable wretch that he is, is merely a symptom. The Rockies hurt Brandon Belt because they cause nothing but pain, even when they get no benefit out of it. All civilized society should shun the Colorado Rockies. The vote passes. The vote is unanimous. Get out of our lives, Rockies. No one wants you here.
Doug, you didn’t mention the loss of his defense, which is just as critical….
Are we to surmise that the 'ex-Cubs Curse' is now the 'Neifi Perez Curse?'